6months later......
It is tuff to look towards the future with an eye for change than to remain in the same routine...!!
its like a dream world where LUCKY is wandering like ALICE in the wonderland...
things has changed alot... within a very short period of time...Its lik a journey from exile to the abundance...!!!
after returning home on that day..LUCKY was very curious abt the words she read and very much impressed abt the message she got from the dear sea....
as she want to create a new picture, imagining that it is actually gonna happen with her life right now..thinking tht the deeper question that may only be found within the heart is: What's NEXT...???
as seeing the world as if there is plenty of everything to go around... she didnt recognized the advancing danger, the terror or the happiness that is gonna come into her life is completely indescribable...!!
anyways.... she started living by her own... feeling tht lucky is luckyyy again...!!!
she changed her dressing,hair do's and looked very different as she was not recognized by her people...
she started to live with the present and want to forget the past for a while....
she made herself to be pleased by her ppl at home with her new deeds and maintained the relationship by not hurting anyone, evn though its hard to keep her feelings down for the sake of her ppl..
she opened an accnt at library and started reading, bought some new colors and gave a new looks for her ART works and sketches...
tried new recepies at home and made her ppl to feel amazed abt her behavior and being so nice at home....!!
she applied for new jobs wanting herself to get into some other angel of life...
meanwhile she joined in some yoga and meditation classes... as she need some peace of mind...
she went for walks and on shopping trips alone, ate out sometimes alone and sometimes with a friend or family members..
and its really was okay to all out there abt the change in LUCKY...!!
she reacquainted with the things tht she once loved but have put on hold for whatever reason...
the bag of thoughts had been opened with a great start and its been following tilll date...
months passed away....
and days passed away....
but situations which remain simply unexplainable for us makes you uncomfortable,experimenting and following in to the quest of imaginary world..!!!
LUCKY is still with the changee which made her to live in the world of colors and flavors...
as the days are rolling down..
some where deep in the heart.. she felt like listening to the unknown voice warning her...
"It was okay but It couldn't' help u.. becoz it was like putting on too much makeup to look better even though who u r not meant for...!!!"
now its the feeling which is haunting her... deep in her thoughts and increasing day by day as the months passing through...
finallyy...she was all exhausted in living with this false world where she find everthing but losing her own REAL image in life...!!!
as everyone was very happy with the changee but some where deep in her heart it was not fair and she cant confess herself.. wht is gonna happen if this is going to continue till end....?????
there is no ANSWER of this...!!!!!!!!!!
and evn she dnt hav any ANSWER to confess herself...!!!!!!!
so finallyy....one fine day....
she was sitting at shore and think all abt the changes she had in her life...,
'The change...' wht she made to herself in finding the TRUTH....,
and atlst wht she realized in being different and in being sticked to the change...,
holding a paper with the same bottle as she got from the sea...
and made a note to reply the answer to the imaginary guy... and threw the bottle into the deep sea...
thinking tht the waves will tak the bottle with the message to the imaginary guy...!!
and here goes the message....
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dear unlucky ME....
look at me..!! r u happy...???
its like, iam flying with the colors... and happy with wht iammm....??
im not worried to tell... tht iam with the dreamz where the deep fades got colored deeper with the change tht i brought into ma life...!!
NO dear.... i cant be like this....
LOVE is TRUTH and i believe TRUTH is REAL...!!! and the ultimate source is "ME"...!!!
and the real "ME" wht i LOST was fully responsible for my fake reality in imagination...
its all for the love for ma ppl which made me to CHANGE and LOST myself to the unknown world...
im not the real "me" whn im wit the CHANGE bcoz i believe the world would never accept or like who i really "iam" and i cant giv maself nd others a reason to believe ME...!!
i changed my look.. which is not ME...
i changed my thoughts.. which r for others..
i changed ma art.. bt it as no life in itt..
i changed the recepies.. bt it tastes nothng...
i want to change ma job.. but no opportunities in this small town...
i started reading but in vein... i started doing meditation but neva find ma soul in peace....!!!
its all jst like making me BUSY in vein...!!!
it made me to reach a point where i dont believe tht iam worthy of feeling good abt maself and i couldnt be more wrong to maself becz iam not a fixed entity for "CHANGE"
if i chose to compromise with the CHANGE.. ma integrity will skip and It will become easier to give up each time and i dnt want to be a people pleaser...!!
its ENOUGH..!! and i dnt want to believe in unknown ME... whr iam losing ma own identity for the sake of fake world around 'ME'
I have reminded my self as well as you..let me not go with the wind and CARRY away with the change and im not SORRY to say this...!!
Its true tht i dnt knw wht i hv got until i lose it.. nd i dnt knw wht i hv been missing until it arrived ME....
though i dnt hav the best of evrythng bt i wnt to mak the most of evrythng tht comes along the way..!!
and i PROMISE u tht... i will be alright with wht iam and take life as it comes..
let it be big or small i will be wht iam and want to be the best if not the biggest...!
with all ma love.. let me thank u for everythng and its nice tht ur with me foreva in ma thoughts....!!!
foreva loving....
LUCKY (with wht iam)
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and she returned home.... confessing her.....
"if u want a permanent CHANGE in ur life... thn forget being "REAL"... becozz..."CHANGE can CHANGE ur REAL being to IMAGINARY"
..................its all abt LUCKY....................who is "LUCKY" forevaa and evaaaa...!!!
emotional...intriguing...and introspecting.
ReplyDeleteCHANGE is a very misunderstood word more than LOVE. to CHANGE is not exactly to change oneself but to accept the present and give the best to the existing situation or the circumstances with a content of being ONESELF. LEADERS create the change and they are the CHANGE themselves. rest follows them. BEING and ACCEPTING everything for best is the key mantra. this is a killer post gurlie. one of the best from ur mind. keep it up.